Am I a Good Father?

Well my first Fathers Day is quickly approaching. I look back at the past 10 months and wow time has sure gone by fast. It seems like just yesterday we were in the delivery room laying my eyes on her for the first time. Louisa is a great mom and from time to time she will give me grief about needing to help out more around the house.

The biggest problem is the extra curricular activities that keep me out of the house in the evenings. I have been very active in both the Knights of Columbus and Scouts. Louisa is with Bethany all day while I am at work and she looks forward to me coming home after work to give her a break. So it is no wonder that she doesn't like me being out so much.

So I decided to make some changes to make sure that I am around a little more. For the Knights of Columbus I have taken on a different position on the executive, one that doesn't involve as much work at home. No more writing up the minutes and no more doing the Rosarium (council newsletter). Also with my new position if I am unable to make it to the meeting I won't feel that I am letting the council down as my new position isn't as key.

And for Scouting I have tendered my resignation as the Group Commissioner. This was a tough one as Scouting is so very dear to me. But I had to be honest with myself, that I am not really able to commit the amount of time necessary to do a proper job. So I did what was necessary and I stepped down. I hope to be able to stay involved in some capacity, we will see.

Parenting involves sacrifices and up until now I havn't had to make many but the time has come that I make sure I have my priorities in order.

I came across a survey at www.fathersforgood.org titled Am I a Good Father?

Here are the questions:

Answer each of the following statements honestly in relation to your fatherhood, placing one check for each statement to indicate: Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree.

This is not a scientific survey, and no one else will see your test score. It is designed to help you think about some important fatherhood issues and how you evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Have fun, and learn.


I practice what I preach *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I pray with my kids, and for them *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I regulate TV time for my kids, and myself *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I avoid any use of porn *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


They know they can come to me with questions *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I look at their report cards *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I set clear and consistent rules *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I control my temper when disciplining *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I listen and not just talk to my kids *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I am home for family dinner *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I respect my wife and show affection *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


My kids feel safe and secure with me *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


They know I am fair yet firm *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


I say I love them in word and deed *
Strongly Agree Agree Disagree Strongly Disagree


Thank you for completing this self-assessment. In general, those who are walking the path of the good father will answer mostly “Strongly Agree” and “Agree”.

I am now a Daddy

From Birth

Yesterday was the most amazing day of my life, I became a father. At 8:50 am Louisa and I became parents to a baby girl. Weighing 6 lbs 15 oz, Bethany Priscilla Pang Vautour came into this world and stole our hearts. You always hear how amazing it is to witness the birth of your child, but there is no preparing for the emotion of it actually happening.

Everything went just fine. baby is healthy and both her and mom are doing fine. I on the other hand am in a lot of pain. I slept at the hospital last night so I could be there to help Louisa with the baby. I slept on a cot and when I first woke up this morning I was fine. But after breakfast I was helping Louisa with breast feeding and somehow I pulled a muscle in my lower back.

I was on so much pain. I couldn't sit up straight or stand up straight. When the nurse came into the room she looked at me and said "Are you ok?". "No" I said" "what is wrong?" "I can't move". They took me down to the Emergency Room. Turns out I pulled a muscle and have to take Advil and some prescription anti-inflammatory pills for a week. The worst part is the doctor told me not to lift anything. That includes taking the baby home in her car seat and the bags. And then to literally add insult to injury she said "People will think you are just a jerk making your wife carry everything"

I was very upset that I got hurt and this limits what I can do to help Louisa for the next week or so. We don't have any family in Ottawa which makes it a bit of a tougher pill to swallow. Luckily Louisa's mom is visiting for a while to help out. I will be adding the hospital bracelet that they game me in the Emergency Room to Bethany's baby book. I am sure this will make for a humorous story 10 years from now.

I came home to shower and upload some pictures from the hospital. I will be heading back to the hospital soon. Not sure if I will be sleeping there or coming back here tonight. Will figure that out later. I want to be there as much as I can but not if I am just in the way.

How to not impress your Mother-in-law

Yea I know it has been a long time since I have posted any new blog posts. There have been many things that I wanted to post but never seemed to get around to it. Let me tell you a little story and then I will provide an update on what is going on in my life.

So my Mother-in-law is visiting and tonight I was going to BBQ some salmon on a cedar plank. Everything is going fine, I soaked the plank for 6 hours in preparation. I don't think she has ever had salmon cooked on a cedar plank and she was interested to see what I was doing. I was proud of myself and hoping she was a bit impressed with my cooking skills. Once the salmon was cooked I asked Louisa for an oven mitt so I could bring the salmon inside. Well I underestimated how hot the plank would be even though I was wearing an over mitt. After a few steps away from the BBQ it was starting to burn my hand so I attempted to place it back down on the BBQ. The salmon fillet slid right off and onto the ground with a big splat! I was very upset at myself and embarrassed at what I had done.

I was hungry as a bear as I had not eaten much all day and it was a little later than when we normally eat. Here I just ruined our main course. Fortunately there was still another half of a fillet left because we bought it at Costco. So Louisa's mom cooked that half in the oven. So it wasn't a total loss but I was so mad at myself.

Other than that things are good. Baby Bethany is due to come out in a few weeks. Can't wait to meet her. Louisa and I have done everything we can to prepare. Louisa has read countless books, we took the prenatal classes, went to a breast feeding seminar and even a cloth diaper consultation. The room is ready and all the baby clothes have been washed.

I am thrilled to become a dad. It is something that I have been looking forward to since I was probably a teenager. Not that I wanted to become a teenage dad, just that I knew that I wanted to be a father one day. It is such an exciting time right now. As I am sure any parent will know just knowing that you will become a parent you start to look at things differently.

I have always been a big music buff. I have tone of CD's and MP3's, all genres of music. Now when I listen to a song I am like "Oh I never realized that song had swear words in it" and I remove it from my playlists so I don't expose Bethany to it. I have even started a playlist for her with children's songs.

The summer is coming to a close soon which means all the activities will be starting up again. I have a meeting on Tuesday for the Knights of Columbus to start our fall planning and I will also be holding a Group Committee meeting for scouts to ramp up for the fall. Granted with Bethany coming I won't be able to do as much for the first couple of months. It will be interesting to see if I can manage to keep the right balance. One thing is clear to me, Louisa and Bethany have to come first.

I will try to post more often, if I can find time. I am sure I will have tons of things to blog about.

Lawnmowers and shelving units

This sure has been an interesting week. First of all let me say that I am feeling great. I was limping on Monday and Tuesday but by Thursday I was playing Volleyball at the company picnic. Everyone was real concerned because I had an operation on my heart only a week earlier. But I felt fine and everything was good. I also placed first in the apple bobbing competition. hey, you got to be good at something right. Reminds me when I was in grade 3 and I won a pie eating competition at the local community center.

Louisa finally broke me down and we purchased an electric lawn mower this week. Last year when we moved in I insisted on getting an old fashioned push reel mower. It is a lot of work and takes forever but I was happy with it. Last weekend I was unable to cut the grass because of my operation. I was going to pay the neighbor's kid to cut it for me. Louisa decided she wanted to prove to me that she could do it, even though I didn't want her to. She practically killed herself but she got it done. She vowed that we would get an electric lawn mower. After much convincing we finally did by one at Canadian Tire.

We also went to Zellers and bought a 6 cube console for the kitchen. Louisa built it with my guidance. I interpreted the instructions and she did most of the assembly. So Louisa learned the joy of assembling furniture. We even had to disassemble it half way through because we put a couple pieces in upside down. All part of the experience. It was a lot of fun. We hadn't taken the time to do something like that together for some time.

Louisa and I spend so much time together we sometimes forget to take time to do simple things together. We commute together, we work together, we take break together, we eat lunch together... we are together almost 24/7. When we come home from work typically I spend the evening in the basement and she stays on the main floor. Sometimes I think we spend so much time together that we tend to take each other for granted. As a newly married couple I think it is important that we don't let that happen.

Last nights furniture assembly was a nice reminder that we need to take time to enjoy each others company. So tonight we are going to Carnivàle Lune Bleue. It is a 1930's style carnival that is in town complete with sideshows, a big-top main event, and authentic 1930's midway. I can't wait.

Louisa and I have been going through a lot of hard times since our wedding. There has been so much illness with us, friends, co-workers and loves ones. We are constantly worried about someones health and well-being. Our surgeries may be behind us but there are many people close to us who are not out of the woods yet. We pray for them daily.